Summary: Males who had overprotective fathers have a 12% higher risk of dying before the age of 80. Women with overprotective fathers are 22% more likely to die before they reach 80 years of age. For males raised by single parents, their risk of death before the age of 80 was 179% higher than those raised by two parents.
Men who had an overprotective father and little autonomy during childhood may run a 12% higher risk of dying before their eightieth birthday. In the case of women who had an overprotective father, the risk of dying before the age of 80 can increase by 22%.
overprotective
Brushing the issue under the carpet or arguing about it will only make the situation worse. Talk to your partner and try to understand where the negative emotions of insecurity and jealousy are coming from. Did they have a troubled childhood? Have they faced rejection in the past? Did they have a bitter relationship experience with the ex-girlfriend having fidelity issues? These are a few factors that often force people to display overprotective behavior, sabotaging healthy relationships.
Once your partner has expressed these concerns, it is time for you to clearly state the specific things that bother you about their controlling behavior. Be assertive and communicate, while dealing with an overprotective partner, that while you will strive to address their insecurities, you will in no way compromise on certain aspects of your life. For instance, you cannot cut ties with your best friends just because you are in a relationship with them.
Make a mental note of the things you are willing and unwilling to compromise on and set relationship rules to control the overprotective behavior. Once you have communicated these limits, it is up to them to change their silly behavior.
If your overprotective partner is worried that you may abandon them for one of your friends, introduce your partner to your gang! When they see the manner in which your friends interact with each other, your bae will get comfortable with them, leaving no room for doubt.
Giving your overprotective partner the taste of their own medicine can work wonders, helping them to loosen their overprotective grip on the relationship. Act visibly jealous when they interact with their friends. When they defend themselves, explain to them how you feel when they act jealous and insecure, enabling them to correct their silly behavior. Moreover, even if you are faking an overprotective behavior, you are assuring your partner that you find them attractive and do not want to lose them.
I love Josh and would never want to hurt his feelings, but I think he's a little too worried about me. I'm an adult, and I can take care of myself. Is Josh being too overprotective, or am I just crazy? - OVERPROTECTED IN OREGON
Children of overprotective parents tend to report decreased life satisfaction, reduced confidence, lower rating in psychological well-being[10], lack of independence, and inadequate coping skills[4]. As mentioned, a lack of exposure to normal life events will generate insecurity when dealing with them.
However, peculiar as it is, this case is not an isolated one. Similar incidents have befallen parents and children around the country in the past decade and they all point to a growing trend in America: overprotectiveness. More specifically, a growing overprotectiveness by Americans toward American children that is being reflected in policy-making and legal decisions, and that has left older generations shaking their heads. Generational gap notwithstanding, mounting evidence and research have begun to reveal a disturbing effect of this trend that should be cause for real concern. Overprotective parents, and the norms that prevail from an overprotective attitude toward children, are threatening to build a generation of young Americans that are highly risk-averse, fearful, and unprepared to become engaged citizens and active leaders.
As for why this trend is occurring, there are several concurrent trends that not only support the conclusion that overprotective tendencies are on the rise, but also help us understand the bigger picture of where we may be headed.
Technological advancements of the past decade have contributed vastly to the changes we see in parenting. No longer do parents send their children outside when they are bored, rather parents now opt for giving their children electronic devices to keep them entertained. Whether this change is a good or bad one is not within the scope of the issue of overprotective parents, but it does illustrate how easy it has become for parents to be overprotective. In the age of GPS tracking and smartphones, keeping tabs on your children every minute of the day has become easy and not contacting your kids for hours more difficult.
At a time when crime rates and kidnapping rates are at all-time lows, what has many people pointing to the media when asked why parents have become more overprotective? The answer: greater interconnectedness. A result of technology, greater interconnectedness seems to be the root of why some parents can be seen as religiously trying to protect their children from danger, despite the world being less dangerous than ever before. Being able to access news and information from across the nation, it is easy to fall into a trap of believing that what happens on the other side of the nation can just as easily happen in your state. It breeds an illusion of constant danger and risk that does more harm than good.
As a nation, we have to ask ourselves what kind of people we want to be. A people that rely on their parents and their nation to provide for them, or a people that contribute to the good of those around them. A democracy is only as strong as the people who live under it, and the way we parent and are parented is oftentimes a reflection of how we perceive the world and how we act as citizens. To have overprotectiveness become a hallmark of American parenting is to progress toward a society of people that asks for more than it gives. To parents, I would urge them to have more faith in the ability of young Americans to overcome, to take risks, and to be independent. Only then may we be able to reinvigorate the optimism and spirit that this nation seems to have lost and sorely needs today.
Many parents we interact with in our schools are balanced and supportive, while a small number of parents on one extreme are neglectful and uninvolved. A growing number of parents on the other extreme, however, are overprotective and overinvolved.
First, preframe parents in parent talks with tips for navigating interpersonal situations that children may face. The great thing is that when you hold parent talks, overprotective parents usually turn up.
While employees of an overprotective boss are often treated to very clear lines of performance and expectation they are also deprived of critical learning experiences, they are denied the chance to carve their own way and decide their own level of developmental stretch. There is no such thing as a defined set of expectations anymore; todays work world is less about the square we occupy and more about the Venn diagram of overlapping handoffs, collaboration and communication. An overprotective boss is potentially infringing upon some of the most important ways in which an employee can really learn which is through stretch, reach, and taking on challenges outside of their day to day norm.
Some employees who have an overprotective boss any may not even know it. Their boss seems like their biggest advocate, keeping the world in check so they can enjoy their weekends without interruption. Here is the tough part: when a manager turns down experiences and opportunities on behalf of their team members it sends a message to the requestor, and to the larger organization , that this team is not capable - either time wise or skill wise- to take on more. Nothing kills a career faster than sending the signal that you are unavailable, inaccessible, incapable, or unwilling. People will stop reaching out. The river of great opportunity will run dry. They will stop bothering.
While the trend of overprotective parenting has certainly gotten a lot of coverage, much less discussed is exactly why this phenomenon arose in the first place. Why are modern parents so protective of their children (and children in turn so risk averse themselves)?
Thank you for writing in with such a great question. When it comes to the oft elusive quest for a partner to build a life with, what makes sense intellectually can begin to feel much more complicated in a hurry. You mention feeling overprotective and possessive in your relationship. While it can feel really scary to make yourself vulnerable, it might be a good idea to talk to your partner about what you are feeling. In a relationship, discussing hopes and dreams, as well as fears and insecurities, can be very effective in building intimacy and fostering a strong bond. Imagine how you might feel if you learned your partner was struggling with some fears and insecurities of his/her own. Imagine how you might feel if your partner expressed how much you were loved and valued and compassionately alleviated your fears. It is possible that opening up a conversation about how you are feeling in the relationship might just produce these responses and increase the connectedness between you.
Don't let guilt or fear make you overprotective. ADHD is a biological condition that in most cases is genetically transmitted. It is not anybody's "fault." Parents are not guilty of "giving" their child ADHD any more than they are guilty of giving their child life. As parents, feeling guilty or excessively worried is a great recipe for trying to do too much for the child. Take a breath, relax, and remind yourself that your child is not doomed to a life of failure if you don't protect her from every danger and solve every problem. By its very nature, overprotecting is smothering. 2ff7e9595c
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